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HomeImpact of DivorceImpact of Divorce on ChildrenCo-parentingCo-Parenting Tips

Co-parenting

After the divorce, you are both still your children’s parents. Parenting should still be a priority.


Co-Parenting Tips

Co-parenting after a divorce takes time and effort to figure out. It is normal for things to feel uncertain at first. You do not have to figure it out alone. It is okay to ask for support.

There are practical steps you can take to make the change easier for your children. Every small effort makes a difference. You can learn more co-parenting skills through the Children-in-Between E-Learning for Parents.

  • It is common for children to want their parents to get back together. This is normal, and it will take time for them to adjust.
  • You can explain to your children that although you and your co-parent are no longer husband and wife, both of you will always be their parents.
    • Tell your children that the problems between you and your co-parent are not their fault.
  • Remind your children often that both of you will continue to love them. Hearing this can make them feel more secure.
  • Your children may also get questions from classmates, friends, or relatives about the divorce. You can help by giving them simple words to use. Practising together can help your children feel more confident when these questions come up.
    • You can say: ‘If someone asks, you can tell them: Mummy and Daddy live in different homes now, but they both love me very much.’ 

  • Keep to the schedule as much as possible. When your children know what to expect, they will feel less anxious. 
  • Clear parenting plans can help both parents and your children understand what to expect, reducing misunderstandings.
  • Unexpected things may happen. It is useful to think ahead of time and be flexible about how each parent can step in when needed. 
    • For example, a parent who only sees the children on weekends can still support them with homework or bring them to the doctor on a weekday.
  • Get more information on co-parenting arrangements/plans.

  • Keep your communication respectful and child-focused. Keep arguments and disagreements away from your children. Do not use your children to pass messages to each other. This puts them in the middle of adult issues and can cause them stress. 
  • If direct communication is hard, some parents find it easier to use a shared notebook, text, or email to keep the conversation focused on the children. You may find it helpful to read more on how to manage tensions with your co-parent.

  • It may not always be easy to agree with your co-parent on rules and discipline, especially at first. However, even small agreements can make a big difference in giving your children stable routines and minimising changes to their lives.
  • Where possible, agree on similar routines in both homes. For example, mealtimes, curfews, bedtimes, and homework expectations. When children are given very different rules in each home, it can be harder for them to know how to behave.

  • Divorce affects the whole family, not just you and your co-parent. Your children may still want to see extended family members on both sides, for example, grandparents. Try to make time for this.
  • Sometimes, extended family members can add to the tension. Share the rules that you and your co-parent have both agreed on with them.
    • For example, not speaking badly about either parent in front of the children, and not asking the children to pass messages or report back on your co-parent.
  • If a family member’s words or actions are affecting your children, speak to that family member directly. If it involves your co-parent’s family, work together with your co-parent to support your children’s well-being. 
  • If you or your co-parent has a new partner, it can take time for your children to adjust. Introduce new partners slowly and do not rush your children into accepting a new parental figure. It is most important that your children feel secure and loved.
Jacinta’s Story

Jacinta’s Story

Jacinta and her husband did not always agree, but they made a decision early on to put their children first. They put in the effort to work out a schedule that kept both parents in their children’s lives. Today, both children are doing well and feel loved by both parents.

Read More


Co-parenting

Parenting After Divorce


PDF generated on 15 Sep 2026 - 03:46:24