Strong feelings like anger, frustration, or disappointment can make it hard to talk clearly. When things get intense, take a step back. Return to the discussion when both of you have calmed down. You should agree on when to resume the talk. For example, you could take a 20-minute break. The goal is not to avoid conflict. Instead, you want to return and resolve it later.

• Taking a walk
• Journaling
• Listening to calming music
• Practising deep breathing (focusing on your breath to relax)

When you feel calm, talk with your spouse. Discuss the issue. Try to find a solution together.

Agree with your spouse when they have good ideas. Let them know that their opinion matters. 

Try not to say no when your spouse raises a complaint. Avoid being defensive. Do not make excuses or bring up your own complaints.

Listen carefully. Show that you understand what they are saying. Try the following:

• "What I am hearing you say is..."
• "Can I check that I've understood you correctly...?"
• "Do you mean to say that...?"

• It can be easy to turn a discussion into a complaint session and fight over everything.
• We encourage you to stick to one issue at a time and be clear on what you want to achieve.

Your child's well-being matters. Here is how you can help them feel safe. 

• Keep arguments away from your child. Fights can deeply affect them.
• Never put your child in the middle of your arguments. Making them take sides can cause them to feel worried, torn, and unsafe.

Marriage can be hard sometimes. It is okay to lean on your loved ones, family, and friends when you need help. They can support you and your spouse along the way.

If things feel too much to handle, think about seeing a counsellor. A counsellor is a professional who can help you by: 

• Spotting patterns in your relationship
• Helping you understand your thoughts and feelings better

If arguments turn violent, your safety and your child's safety come first. If you ever feel unsafe in your relationship, find help.