Jacinta (aged 45) and her husband worked out a co-parenting arrangement that their children adjusted well to after the divorce. The arrangement allowed the children to continue spending time with both parents and made minimal changes to the children’s routines.
Before the divorce, I told my children, “Your parents are going to be divorced, but your Dad will forever still be your Dad, and your Mum will forever still be your Mum. Everything stays the same, except that your Dad and I are no longer a couple and we will not be living together anymore”. I think this statement is an accurate reflection of the way that my ex-husband and I co-parent, even to this day.
When we split, we decided that he would try to stay nearby so that the children can still spend time with him. With him staying so near, he is able to help to fetch them to tuition classes, bring them to his mother’s place for dinner or bring them out for activities like cycling when I am busy at work. They are over at his place frequently as well. Even when he does not see them physically, he would talk to the children on the phone almost every day.
In the past, there was often shouting in the house and disagreements about what the children should do. My children have shared with me that they prefer the current arrangement as they can spend time with both Mum and Dad, without all the fighting. They tell me that they can see that I am happier now too, and that makes them happy as well.