Diane’s Story

Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. The constant conflict and emotional turmoil can take a toll on everyone involved. Receiving counselling support and attending a support group at one of the Strengthening Families Programme@Family Service Centres (FAM@FSCs) helped Diane improve her co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband. 

My ex-husband and I lived together during the initial stage of the divorce process, frequently quarrelling in front of our 6-year-old daughter. We often criticised each other’s parenting abilities, creating a competitive and tense atmosphere in our fight for our daughter’s care and control. The accumulated anger and emotional strain from constant conflict with my ex-husband left me feeling overwhelmed and tired.

Subsequently, we were referred by the Family Justice Court for mandatory family counselling to support our co-parenting and individual needs during and post-divorce. As I began to receive counselling, it helped me cope emotionally, address differences with my ex-husband, and work towards compromises when we had disagreements. We both understood the importance of being present for our daughter in her growing years and wanted cooperative co-parenting to work for our daughter’s sake.

A pivotal moment in our divorce journey occurred when my case worker introduced me to a night divorce support group, which I attended for six months. I requested for my ex-husband to care for our daughter during that time. Although I did not disclose the details, my ex-husband supported me by taking over our daughter’s care on nights where I had to attend the support group, as he believed it would be beneficial for my emotional coping. This demonstrated a significant improvement in our co-parenting relationship.

From attending the support group, I learnt from the experiences of others who went through similar challenges related to their divorce and co-parenting. Recognising the impact of the divorce on our daughter, we sent her for therapy to help her adapt to the changes at home.

Through attending counselling and the divorce support group, I worked through my negative feelings towards my ex-husband, enabling us to navigate co-parenting conflicts with greater understanding and empathy. This allowed us to handle disagreements outside of court and become more flexible with our access arrangements, supporting each other during times of parenting need.

Today, my ex-husband and I have developed a cooperative co-parenting relationship. We handle disagreements without involving our daughter, remain flexible with parenting arrangements, and support each other when needed. The journey has not been easy, but by seeking help, talking about our emotions, and prioritising our daughter’s well-being, we have created a stable and loving environment where she is nurtured and cared for by both parents.

To those who are experiencing conflicts with their ex-spouses and coping with difficulties related to divorce and co-parenting, I encourage you to seek help. There is hope, healing, and the promise of brighter days ahead.