Behavioural:

• Feels pressured to mediate or take sides during family disputes.
• Worries about the family, which can affect their focus and performance in school or at work. 
• Struggles to manage time between family and personal commitments.

Psychological:

• May feel uncomfortable about returning home due to changes in daily routine and family relationships.
• Questions what family means as home now feels different from before.
• Feels shocked, relieved, confused, angry, sad, or even guilty. Their expressed emotions may differ from what you expect.
• Feels responsible for caring for the parent who seems more vulnerable.

Social:

• Questions their own romantic relationships and may have mixed feelings about marriage.
• Distances themselves from family and spends more time with friends.
• Changes their approach to dating and romantic relationships. Some might avoid getting close to others, fearing they will end up in similar conflicts as their parents. Others might stay in unhealthy relationships because they fear being alone.

• Maintain healthy boundaries in your parent-child relationship.
• Respect and support your young adult child’s relationship with your co-parent. Reassure them that both parents continue to care for them.
• Emphasise what will stay the same. This offers stability during changes.
• Maintain constant open communication about changes at home, even if your child has moved out.
• Acknowledge their adult perspective while respecting their need for support.
• Support their school or career goals during this transition.

• Avoid relying on your young adult child:
  • Do not treat your young adult child as your confidant or seek emotional support from them. It can be hard for them to hear about the difficult parts of your divorce and may blur the boundaries of your parent-child relationship.
  • Do not ask your young adult child for advice on divorce-related matters. These should be discussed with another older adult or a professional instead.
• Avoid putting your young adult child in the middle:
  • Do not involve them in conflicts between parents. This puts pressure on them to take sides.
  • Do not use them to pass messages to your co-parent. This involves your child unnecessarily in adult matters and may add to their stress. Your child may also feel used.
  • Do not use them as a "spy" to get information about your co-parent. Your child may feel torn having to decide whether to share about your co-parent’s home or life. It may affect their relationship with you or your co-parent.
• Avoid speaking badly about your co-parent:
  • Children see themselves as part of both parents. Criticising one parent may feel like a personal attack on your young adult child.
  • Remind family members not to speak badly of your co-parent too.
• Avoid rushing your young adult child:
  • Do not pressure your young adult child to accept new family situations. Give them time and space to adjust at their own pace.

Young adult children may think they should handle your divorce better just because they are “adults.” Some may not realise how much your divorce affects them. The truth is that young adults can feel strong emotions, just like younger children.

If you are worried about how your young adult child is coping, consider using these tips to help your young adult child cope or encourage them to seek counselling support. You can also share the Youth Assist website with them, which has articles and resources suitable for young people.