It is not always easy to tell when someone we care about is going through a hard time. Paying attention to the people around you and understanding what they may be going through puts you in a better place to offer support. 

Read on to find out what signs to look out for, and how you can support them in a caring and helpful way.

Life has its share of difficult moments, and sometimes the people we love find themselves going through a tough time. It is not always obvious when someone is struggling, so it helps to pay attention to the signs to look out for:

• Shifts in their mood: they may appear  more withdrawn, irritable, or anxious than usual. 
• Changes in their behaviour or routine. 
• Significant events in their life that you are aware of, which may be affecting them.

One of the most meaningful things we can do is just show up with patience and a willingness to listen. Empathy is the ability to understand and share in someone else's feelings. It is about making someone feel truly heard, even if you don’t have all the answers or have not gone through the same experiences.

Often, what someone needs most is knowing you care enough to listen. You don’t need to have the right words or perfect response. Being present and attentive can be more than enough. 

Before reaching out, ask yourself if you're in a good place to offer support:

• Do you have the time to be present for someone right now?
• Am I feeling calm and emotionally steady?

As your own wellbeing can affect the quality of support you are able to offer, it is ok if you feel that you are not ready to offer support. You can always involve someone else who may be in a better position to help the person. 

Choose a setting that feels right for both of you. Consider what makes both of you feel comfortable and respected, including any personal, cultural, or religious preferences. If you initiate the conversation, let them know why you want to check in so they don't feel surprised. If they reach out to you, acknowledge their courage and thank them for their trust in you. Be present and give them time to open up, as a rushed or distracted conversation can do more harm than good.

When you're in the conversation, a helpful way to think about how to show up is through the word CARE:

• Be Curious about how they are feeling
• Acknowledge what they share without judgement
• Respond with warmth
• Encourage them gently towards the support they might need

If the person is not ready to open up, avoid pressuring them. Let them know you are there when they are ready and follow up at another time.

After the conversation, following up to check on the person is a way to show  concern. Be careful not to make promises you can't keep. Saying "I'll always be ready to lend a listening ear" might feel comforting in the moment, but it can set expectations that are hard to meet. It's better to offer what you can really give or help with.

Consider whether the person's situation is improving over time. If their struggles continue or worsen, or if you are concerned about their safety, professional support may be needed. You can share useful resources you know about  with them, or suggest they seek professional help if their struggles are beyond what you can manage. can address alone.