• When you are upset, it is easy to say things that put blame on the other person instead of focusing on the problem.
• This is very common, and it can make the other person feel upset and rejected. Over time, this can hurt your relationship.
• Example: “You make decisions without talking to me. Why are you always so selfish?”

Try this instead: Start your sentences with “I” instead of “You”

• Choose your words carefully. Share how you feel and what you need without blaming the other person.
• Example: “I feel like I am not involved in this decision. Can we talk about this please?"

• When someone says something that makes you feel attacked, it is natural to blame them back and stop listening. You might try to protect yourself by saying that “the problem isn’t me, it’s you”.
• When this happens, the problem is not solved and the conflict gets worse.
• Example: “I was just too busy today. You know how busy my schedule is! Why didn’t you just do it yourself?”

Try this instead: Start by admitting what you could have done differently

• Example: “I forgot. I should have asked you to help because I knew I would be too busy. Let me do it right now.”

• Sometimes, when conflict has been happening for a long time, you may start to speak to your family members as if you are better than them. 
• You may make fun of them, call them names, or roll your eyes at them. This can damage your relationships even more.
• Example: “You’re ‘tired’? I’ve been working the whole day. Every time I come home, you are just watching TV. You are so lazy!”

Try this instead: Make it a habit to thank your family and show love often.

• When home feels like a warm and safe place, it is easier to manage conflicts without hurting each other.
• Example: “I know that you start your day very early to fetch the kids to school. Thank you.”

• When a conversation feels like a lot to deal with, you might want to ignore the other person or walk away. It is okay to take a short break, but completely ignoring the other person makes it very hard to work things out.

Try this instead: Tell the other person that you need a break, and agree on a time to come back to the conversation. 

• Use the break to calm down instead of thinking about what made you angry.
• Example: “I am feeling too angry right now to keep talking. Can we take a break and come back in 20 minutes? I think we can discuss the issue better after I have calmed down.”