You will need to make important decisions about child custody and access together, such as:

• Where your children will live
• How often your children will see each parent
• How to make sure your children can maintain a close relationship with both of you

When things are hard, focusing on your children’s needs can be helpful when making these decisions. Small steps towards working together can make a difference to your children. If you are finding it hard to agree with your co-parent, consider seeking help from a mediator or a professional early on, before things become more difficult to work out.

Talk to your children about what is happening in a way they can understand. For example, you can say, ‘Mummy and daddy have decided to live in different homes. This was a grown-up decision and it is not your fault. We both love you and we will always be here for you.’

In some cases, these situations can get worse and lead to international child abduction. This happens when a child is taken to or kept in another country without the agreement of the parent who has custody. This is a very serious situation that can be very worrying for everyone involved, especially your child. 

If you are in this situation, you do not have to face it alone. Reach out for help as soon as possible.

There is an international agreement called the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction that protects children from abduction. It helps to make sure that children are quickly returned to the country that they normally live in, or the country that the Court decides is most suitable for them.

Each country that has agreed to this sets up a Central Authority to handle requests for the return of children. A Central Authority is an official organisation that handles these requests. In Singapore, the Central Authority is the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF).